When Lasagna Rocks Your World

If you're anything like me, you have a strong tendency to focus on your weaknesses, those inadequacies that glare at you in the mirror or get highlighted by some amazing, capable, got-it-all-together friend who you force yourself to love despite the painful comparisons you make.

No? This isn't you? 

Well, you can stop reading then. 

You don't need me. 

For the rest of you, maybe there is something here 

that God would have you hear. 

Today, the most simple act of kindness rocked my world. But not because of the kindness itself, but because of the brokenness that it put in 

a spot light for me. 

Today, a friend wanted to bless 

us with dinner. 

In a house full of male, teen eaters, with manly appetites, this is ALWAYS a blessing. 

Always. 

But today was different. 

Today, the amazing meal in question was a lasagna with salad. 

A FROZEN Lasagna- 

With NO instructions. 

So, in my culinary ignorance, I innocently text the person responsible for getting the meal to me and asked how I should cook it. 

She advised 1 hour at 375 degrees, check and uncover till cheese is browned on top. 

Seemed reasonable to me, so I thanked her and added my normal excuse, 

"Tom was the chef in the family"

That was when it happened. 

I crumbled. 

Sitting in the church parking lot waiting for 3 of the boys to finish band class, I absolutely lost it. 

Every single flaw, inadequacy, and bit of brokenness flooded over me in that moment.

I couldn't stop crying.  

I couldn't even cook a stinkin' frozen lasagna without help! 

But, here's the thing. 

It wasn't about the lasagna. 

It was about the painful reminder that I no longer had Tom here to fill in my gaps. 

I never had to cook. I never had to know what temperature to cook a lasagna, or anything else for that matter. 

On those rare occasions that I needed to cook, I could READ THE DIRECTIONS. 

But today, there were no directions. 

There was no Tom. 

There was just me. 

And in that moment, I not only saw my ignorance with cooking, but every other single flaw I possess. 

I saw everything that now was right in front of me, all those things that Tom made better. 

I saw my impatience and my temper. 

I saw my grief and my fatigue. 

I saw my frustration and I realized that there is a reason I have these gaps. 

There is a reason that God lovingly reminded me of them today. 

You see, I don't think that these things, these reminders, are always from the enemy. 

I believe there are times when our loving Father needs us to recognize our weakness so that we have no choice left 

but to cling to him. 

All my type A peeps will testify that 

one of the worst feelings in the world is to feel weak. 

I hate being broken. 

I hate feeling that I'm not enough and will never be enough for my kids. 

I hate feeling that without their father, we are all missing some vital part of our lives that can never be replaced. 

But I know that I am not alone. 

I know that the God who called him home has not left us and that if he needed me to be enough, he would have made it so.

If I needed to be a fabulous cook, 

I would be.  

So for all of you who aren't enough either, 

join me in praising God for your weaknesses. 

Praise Him for being enough, for being sufficient. 

There are many days that I simply cannot fathom why God chose me, of all people, to be a single mom to these children, but I will trust Him. 

I will trust that no matter how broken I may be, that He didn't get this wrong and that He will give me what I need and what they need to fulfill His purposes for their lives. 

So go on and sew that button back on with the wrong colored thread, tell your sons you want to "make a goal" while 

you are shooting hoops, 

admit that you have NO IDEA what the answer to that calculus question is, because it's ok to get it wrong. 

It's ok if you aren't enough. 

What you ARE, is exactly who God intended you to be and the perfect parent for your kids. 

And the lasagna? 

It eventually cooked and it was great! 

Our Lifeline Journey begins

Well, we are off and running with the new job. As SC State Director, my first responsibility privilege was to offer a job to my dear friend Annie as 

Lifeline Child Advocate.  

Many of you know Annie already, but for those who don't know her personally, or know the work she does to advocate for orphans around the world, I hope you will check out her blog at www.cornbreadandchopsticks.blogspot.com 

Annie is one of my adoption mentors and took many a phone call from me in those early months while we raced to get Colin home. So, for all of those who call me now and are so appreciative of the time I take on the phone with you.....you have Annie to thank (among others!).  She was amazing with me and always patiently answered my questions. (and there were many!)

Well, in a matter of a few short days, Annie and I hopped a plane to Birmingham, AL.  We spent the next 4 days soaking up as much of the Lifeline culture as we could.

We were greeted with such hospitality and genuine smiles!

But, once we hit the door, it was time.to.work.

We started each day with emails (LOTS of emails) and then we re-fueled with C.O.F.F.E.E.

Then, we were off to the office and our very packed schedule.

We met with each division of the organization.  The more I learn about the heartbeat of this ministry, the more excited I am that I am now a part of this team.  To hear from the Directors of the Foster Care, Domestic adoption, and International adoption teams and to meet one on one with the social workers, birthmother counselors and leadership staff was so nice.

As it happened, I was able to extend my stay slightly in order to attend the

KNOW

more orphans

conference

on Saturday hosted by Alter84

After I literally took the shirt of someone's back....

(THANKS AMY!)

I was ready to help with the registration table.  I believe that we had somewhere in the vicinity of 800 attend this conference.

It is easy to see, even in a short few days, that this team of people are no strangers to fun!  It was nice spending the morning with them in service.

There was an amazing line up of speakers as well.  Click here to see more about them!

I especially enjoyed Rick Morton and David Nasser.  I would encourage those of you who are passionate about Christ to read "Orphanology", co-authored by Rick Morton and Tony Merida.  

Sadly, my plane left early afternoon, so I was unable to stay for the entire event.

It was tough being away from Tom and the boys for 4 days, but they were 4 very productive days and were vital in preparing Annie and me for the months ahead as we work to secure licensure in SC.

We appreciate your prayer support!

If you or anyone you know is considering how they can get involved in honoring the Word of God by caring for orphans in distress, I would consider it a privilege to answer any questions that you/they have!

Angie

How God Works- Part 5

This post is part five of the "How God Works" series, so if you have not read the original post, click here first, then here for post 2, here for post 3, and last but not least, here to catch up. :-)

You all have been more than patient with me this week so, without further ado.  Even though I wrote these a few days in advance, I anticipate that by the time we get to Day 5, you will all be ready to shoot me, so here we go.

---We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.---

As I mentioned a few days ago, the process of adopting two aging out children in the span of less than 6 months had stirred up a little attention. God had used this attention to open doors for me to minister and encourage other families with a heart for adoption.  He had opened doors for me to deliver messages to orphans waiting for their families and He had allowed me to advocate for those still waiting.

He had used all of this to open my eyes. I was now seeing clearly that He wanted me to use the skills He has given me to affect change in the world.  Ok Lord, but what does that look like?  I need a P.L.A.N!

Seriously ya'll. I don't even get out of bed in the morning without a plan.  Those who know me will testify to that. 

• I knew I wanted to help others adopt. 
•  I knew that I wanted to focus on those who were less likely to find their families and those who never will. 
•  I wanted to be used to find godly homes for the neediest of children; homes where the gospel would be lived out day to day.  

As I continued to ponder these things, and as I talked with wiser men and women than myself, one name continually came to mind.

LIFELINE

Now, many who are reading this will know immediately what this means- who this is.

But, for those who do not---

Lifeline Children's Services is an adoption agency based in Alabama.  A distinctively Christian agency.

An agency that has a wonderful reputation in the adoption world for their unrelenting pursuit of spreading the gospel and providing orphan care around the world.

Just the sort of missional organization that would share my new-found passion.

Only one problem.  They were not MY agency.  In fact, we had not used Lifeline for either of our adoptions.  But despite this fact, and despite the fact that I did not know a soul at Lifeline, my friend Annie (remember the rock-star orphan advocate from earlier?) and I decided that we needed to reach out to Lifeline and see what the Lord would do.

So, on January 5th, after Annie's initial contact, I sent an email to Dave Wood, International Director at Lifeline.  I shared with Dave what I had seen God doing in Charleston and that I felt Him calling me to do more.  We asked them if they would consider opening a satellite office here in Charleston.  

Now, it is probably time for another confession.  Even though I knew without any reservation that I was to send that email, I really did not expect a response.  I mean, Lifeline is a large organization.  Dave had never heard my name.  And here I was asking them to open an office?  That was bold- even for me.  But, Annie and I obeyed God's calling and boy did He respond.

Not only did Dave respond (thanks Dave!), but he and Herbie, the Executive Director both responded. They expressed a clear interest in talking more about this opportunity.  They shared with us how God had been preparing them for this in advance of even receiving our email. 

Huh?

In case you are wondering, God was at it AGAIN!

You see, unbeknownst to us, the leadership at Lifeline had been praying for direction from the Lord on where He might have them go next and SC had already been discussed as a strong possibility.  However, as the email went on to explain, the board felt that they were to wait on the Lord to bring that confirmation their way.

So, you see...that email, the one I thought would end up in the "circular file of cyber space" was in fact, an answer to prayer.

Within a week, I had met via video conference with Dave and Herbie and they scheduled a visit to Charleston.  

So, in February, they came to town and met with many, many people in the area with huge hearts for adoption.

During their two day stay, they were able to see first-hand just how the Lord was moving among His people here and that there was a very open and supportive network already developing.

They heard from families about the need for a Christian agency that could provide homestudy services as well as placement services.  

They met with Pastors and adoption ministry leads with a passion to mobilize the church to take up the cause of orphans in their communities and around the world.

They shared the larger scope of their ministry- not just for those lucky ones chosen to be adopted, but for the unadopted as well. They shared how they have come alongside the social service agencies in various states to support the recruitment and training of christian foster families. 

We learned about their heart for the unborn and how they minister to birth families as well as adoptive families. 

Throughout those two days, the Lord continued to confirm for us that He was bringing us together to do His work.

So, here we are at the Big Reveal!

After much prayer, the Board of Directors has voted unanimously to pursue licensure in South Carolina based out of Charleston.


This is an amazing blessing for the state of SC and  for our local Charleston community in particular.  

Not only that, but I was blessed with an offer to be the Director of this new office that will serve all of South Carolina.  Needless to say, I said YES!


I know that the story will not end there, but I am so humbled to have been a part of this miracle.

Thank you all for staying with me as I attempt to shine a light on the Creator who cares so deeply for the "Least of these" and so deeply for you and me.


If you have considered adoption, foster care, or supporting any of the ministries that you've read about here, please contact me.  I would love to provide you with more information about how God can use you too!

Angie

How God Works- Part 4

This post is part four of the "How God Works" series, so if you have not read the original post, click here first, then here and here to catch up. :-)

Now, I must stop for a moment to thank those who have stayed with me this week.  No one likes cliffhangers, and I am not being deliberately cruel (I promise).  There is a method to this madness.  

You see, as I thought about how to share this "God story", I realized that what was most important was to show God's hand at work.  I simply did not think that a quick "Guess what?" sort of post was sufficient to show how intricately God has been weaving His plans together for His children over these past few months.  I felt that without a significant portion of the "back-story", the awe and wonder of all of this would be lost.  It has truly left me breathless and even more amazing--speechless-- on more than one occasion this year and that does not happen often ya'll!  So, I beg forgiveness from those of you who, like me, were wide awake at ridiculous hours this week pondering this series of events.

OK, disclaimer over. Now, on with the show!

While I was in China in December with the boys, I still felt a nagging from the Lord that we were only getting started. Now, not to say that my heart is at all closed to future adoptions (it is not!), but I am not talking about more kids here.

In fact, at that point, I wasn't at all sure what I was talking about, but it was there, under the surface.  Each night in our hotel room, I would put the boys to bed at 9 and had some alone time to skype with friends (my lifelines!!!), read, and pray.

It was during one of those skype sessions in particular that I chatted with a dear friend about this "nagging".  She confirmed that she, too, had felt the Lord moving in a big way in our community and wondered if the events of this year were not intended to move my heart toward some sort of mission work related to orphan care.

After all, this very same friend was the one who started all this in the first place one warm April day at an Easter egg hunt.  She was there for the very first conversation we ever had about adoption. She heard my flimsy excuses and my rationalizations for why "WE" could never adopt. (And I had some GOOD ONES.)

She saw something that I was not able to see at that point, and she had seen the transformation of my family and my heart for the orphans appear right before her eyes in the months that followed.

The next day, I shared this off-the-wall thought with another friend.  Surprisingly, she not only agreed with my first friend, but she said to me, "Have you spoken to Tom about this yet?"  When I said no, she proceeds to tell me that in checking in on my other two "boys" during my absence that she had had an almost identical conversation with my husband where he told her that he thought the Lord was leading me to a ministry for orphan care. HUH?  

The weeks in China went relatively fast and on Christmas Eve, we finally arrived home with our newest son!

We were so happy to be home for Christmas and to see Tom and Tommy again.

 We enjoyed a nice (yet terribly jet-lagged) Christmas visit with my sister

and the rest of the clan.

"My Three Sons"

My beautiful niece, Lindsey

My sister's twin boys, Ryan & Jacob

My beautiful Sis-in-law, Teresa, and super handsome nephew Easton.

My Father opening gifts

Tom gets another kitchen gadget! His favorite.

You get the idea.  Two days of visiting and we were finally off for home.

Now after sharing a house over the holidays in a VERY jet-lagged state of mind with 17 family members, I was needless to say, grateful to finally be home. 

My bed. My pillow. My coffee!!! 

I know, get to the point. Ok. The point is this:  I wanted to rest. 

I wanted to get my sea legs back before doing anything that required effort. I wanted to make sure that Cameron felt safe and that his needs were being met.

But, God kept nudging.

A few days after we returned home, once we were a little settled, (ok, not settled, but the laundry was done) we invited some friends over to meet Cameron and visit.  

It was during that larger group meeting of other adoptive families that I laid out my heart and shared that I felt the Lord asking me to move into an adoption-related ministry position of some sort.

I sought their counsel and began to see the Lord speaking through them.  

So, just over a week after returning home with all three boys, (wow- still boggles my mind that we have three boys) 

I know what the Lord wants me to do.

Stay tuned...tomorrow will be the last post in this series and will reveal the plan that God has set before me. 

Angie

How God Works- Part 3

This post is part three of the "How God Works" series, so if you have not read the original post, click here first, then here for the second post.


After learning that this beautiful boy

Cameron when he first arrived at the Wuhan SWI in 2006.

A.K.A.

was living in Wuhan, where our friend Kim's daughter Jenny was,

we realized that the Lord had presented us with a rare opportunity. The chance for two orphans from the same institution to be adopted into the same community over 8000 miles away was not likely, but then again...we have certainly learned that God's plans are not dependent on our definition of "doable".


Tom and I took this news as another nudge in the direction of this child. But wait. They told us no, right?  Praying over this huge decision and all the implications for our family, we could not deny that the Lord was leading us to him. So, we asked again.


On a Wednesday evening, I called the Social Worker in charge at this particular agency and explained, once again, that we felt that this child was meant to be our son.  Much to my surprise, she offered to take our request to their decision-making board and "see what happens".  She was quick to remind me though that this was highly unusual and she could not promise me a positive response.


That was enough for me. For now. I knew that we were making progress and that we were following God's call to this boy.


Then it happened. 
Not a week later as I had anticipated, but a mere 20 minutes after hanging up the phone.

We got the call. 

The social worker said that if we could get our own social worker to support this idea, that they would let us proceed with the adoption.  


We were so very excited and while we were still reeling somewhat from our last China trip, we were renewed by the Lord to buckle down and do it all again!

We began the next paperchase immediately and by October 18th, we had our Pre-approval and made the public announcement here.


Now at this point, we, and probably most of the world watching would have said that God had all this planned for us so that these two precious boys could have a family.  And, I am forever grateful that He brought them to us and that there are two less orphans in the world because of His goodness to us.


But God had more in mind. 
Much more it appears.  


As we were racing (and this time I mean R>A>C>I>N>G!) to get our second son, Cameron, home from China, God began to show me that all of this, our whole journey since April of last year, was bigger than these two boys.


He was doing a work in my heart and in my family that would prepare me for something different.


I began to see that my adoptions and my experiences were intended to help others.


As the uniqueness of our adoptions began to get more publicity on yahoo groups and blogs, (by uniqueness I mean needing an age waiver for my husband -age 68 at the time-, not knowing from where the funds would come, being allowed to adopt another aging out child so soon...etc.) I began to have the opportunity to hear from other families who had questions about their own adoption journeys.  


It didn't take long before there were emails or phone calls at least 1-2 times per week from families wanting to ask me to share the details of my adoption story in order to help give them direction or encouragement.  It was always such a joy to me that I could be used in this way.


After all, who was I?  I did not see myself as any sort of expert.  But, I had to admit that a passion for adoption and for the "least of these" around the world was growing stronger and stronger in my heart.


I began to ask questions of the Lord like, "What is this all about?"
"What am I to do with all this new passion and energy?"
"Are you leading me to full-time adoption work?"


A few weeks after we committed to bring Cameron home, we discovered a video of him and two others boys playing outside their orphanage in Wuhan.  I was delighted, as most waiting parents are, to have this video!  It just makes these children so much more REAL.  First on the video was Cameron.  There he was with his corrected clubbed feet, jumping rope better than I ever could. He was so cute and clearly no "special need" was going to define this kid!


After Cameron, was a boy I had learned already had a family coming for him very soon. The third young boy, a sweet 12 year old, was seen playing with a Chinese toy and shooting hoops with Cameron and his friend.  I sent this video clip to a friend of mine, so she could see our newest treasure and the Lord spoke straight to her heart.  She called me through tears and said that she was pretty sure that the Lord had just shown her her son.  That third boy.  Before we knew it, she and her husband were knee-deep in paperwork and on their way to adopt yet ANOTHER child from Wuhan.


Are you keeping up?  In case you've lost count, that's three children (so far) coming home to our town from the same orphanage.


But God did not stop there---oh no.
Of course, I was thrilled that my dear friend Kim S. (and her wonderful husband) was adopting this gorgeous child

but it gets better!


In December, after only 7 short weeks of paperwork, it was time to get our sweet Cameron and bring him home.

So Colin, our oldest 

flew back to China with me so that we could bring Cameron home.

It was an amazing journey and I felt the peace and protection of the Father the entire time.  

Traveling half-way around the world with no husband and a teenage boy who's English was still at the beginner level is not for SISSIES!  (Just sayin'!)

Anyway....I digress.

Knowing that we planned to visit his orphanage, Kim prepared a care package for her new son that I was honored to deliver.


When we told the head Nanny that one of our friends was adopting this child, she began to weep!  She kept repeating over and over that that boy was Cameron's BEST FRIEND!  She opened a photo album that Cameron was holding and it was FULL of photos of him and his best buddy.  

When she realized that he was going to be adopted into the same town as Cameron, she was overjoyed!  


I was able to share with this young boy that HE. HAD. A. FAMILY!!!


I don't think there is anything better than being able to share that news with a child desperate for a family of his own.


Despite the fact that he received toys, clothes and candy...


what was the one thing he grabbed out of that bag?

His PHOTO ALBUM.
He couldn't wait to see HIS FAMILY.


Seeing that boy's eyes pour over his new mama and baba (Daddy), his new siblings and 4 (count 'em!) 4 dogs was PRICELESS.  

Not just priceless. It was life changing.


Once again, God whispered into my ear that this is what matters.  Caring for these children and offering them the chance to hear the gospel and to be loved as they each deserve.


But that wasn't all He had planned for this afternoon visit to the Wuhan SWI.


Just before I loaded a plane from home headed to China, I got a phone call from my friend Annie.  She is one of those rock star child advocates that I mentioned in an earlier post. (Heart of gold, works all hours of the day and night....the whole shabang!)


Annie was asking if I was willing to get updates on three children from Wuhan that were on the "Shared list" and available for adoption.  Of course, I said "Yes!"  


While I was there, I was able to meet sweet "Willow"

and
"Stewart"

These children left such a strong mark on my heart.  I raced to our hotel room after our visit was done so that I could upload the videos that I took ASAP.  I could not wait to get these children the exposure they deserved so that their family could find them.


And, while I didn't do anything difficult, God used those videos to do just that.


After posting the videos of these two amazing children, emails began to flood in to Annie and me.  And their families DID find them!  


And the icing on the cake?
  That adorable 5 year old boy?
  His Mama and Daddy are here too!  
That's right.  One more precious Wuhan baby coming home to our hometown. 


(That's 4 in case you lost count)


Now, I am not THAT slow. Even I could tell that God was moving in the hearts of our community in a BIG WAY!


Tomorrow I will share with you some of the things that are brewing in our small town and how God has orchestrated the events of the last 10 months to fill a real need.