Broken Vessels Redeemed

I heard a song in the car yesterday-- 

yes, I did 

ACTUALLY LEAVE MY 

HOUSE ALONE :-)

 while on the way to the doctor's office-- 

anyway, I digress...

It is a song that I have heard many, many times, but that day, it made more of an impression.  It is the song, 

"Bless the Broken Road" 

by Rascal Flatts.

Listening to this song, I thought about my own broken road and felt that perhaps I should share my thoughts on that so I hope that you are encouraged by them.

"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you
Yes, God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

This version was recorded by Selah and it was aired on "His Radio" 100.5 in Charleston. Here is just one of many, many video versions I saw on You Tube.

This song has many interpretations. It is played a lot at weddings and sung in churches.

 For me, it is a great musical picture of the journey so many people take in life. 

A journey where we assume control and try to manage without really relying on Christ to guide our days and our decisions. (Some like my new sons, because they have never heard about Jesus' love and others because they feel they don't need it.)

A journey where we fall- over and over again- (boy, have I fallen in my life!) because much to our dismay, we are not in control. We never. have. been.

It is hard to hear this song and not think of all the mistakes, the poor choices, the selfish decisions that you have made, all the people that have hurt us and those whom we have hurt, and yet, it is a song of hope. 

A reminder that God can and does redeem lives. He can redeem our mistakes and can heal the hurts that we have experienced and thankfully, he can redeem the hurts we have caused. 

The Lord has been working in my life this past year in a way that I have never felt before. Of course, our adoptions have been a big part of that, but it has been more than that. 

More than just opening my eyes to the incredible need that surrounds us. 

More than showing me that one person can make a positive impact for the cause of Christ.

More than reminding me that caring for orphans and widows is not a calling or an option, but the pure definition of true religion.

Through our adoption journey, through financial struggles, through the relationships we've fostered this year, through some unbelievable books like "Crazy Love" and "Radical", and through the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, I now see that God WANTS to use this imperfect, impatient, perfectly flawed and broken vessel. 

Of course I want to be perfect. (Doesn't everyone?) I want to be thin and beautiful and smart and charming and honest and loving and....

But I am not. 

I am broken and selfish and apart from Christ I can do nothing. And perhaps that is the point. Don't you think?

I am learning that the socially acceptable, American Christian is NOT what God wants. In fact, that thing, that person I just described, that person that I was for decades, makes God weep!  

So what does He want?  

What does He deserve?  

Full devotion and dependence. 

Not just behavior that appears good or thankful or "worthy", but complete devotion and the willingness to allow Him to lead and to provide.  

He wants us to trust and obey. 

(How many of us sang that simple song as children?)  

I know that God has "blessed" or "redeemed" my broken road and continues to make me uncomfortable with my sin and my selfishness so that He can finish the work that He has started in me.  I pray that you would allow Him to do the same in your life!

God Bless,

Angie

  

An Artist in our midst- Who Knew?

So this morning Tom and I slept in. 

That's right. We did. 

Yes, there were children awake and yes, there was breakfast to prepare and yes, alright, we should. have. been. up. 

But we slept in none the less.

So, once we finally dragged out sorry selves out of bed around 8:05 a.m., I saw Cameron in his room drawing. 

He had taken a page from a coloring book that my mother gave him in his Christmas stocking and was drawing the image. Free Hand. Just looking at this picture of a pirate and drawing it in his sketchbook.

Here is the original picture...

Now, all "new mama" biases aside, is it just me, or does this kid have MAD SKILLS?

Now, had I not seen him doing this with my own two eyes, I would have thought he had traced it somehow, but there he was...

looking at the page and sketching it out.

To my very untrained eye, that was impressive! Impressive for a trained adult in my opinion, but most especially impressive coming from an untrained 10 year old~

Even my Aunt Anita, who is a real artist, saw this and said he should be enrolled in a special school. Well, while I was glad to know that someone with actual talent thought it was good, I doubt that a private school is in our immediate future. But, if we have learned nothing this year, we have learned better than to say Never to our God!  How fun it will be to see how He chooses to use this newest Rylands boy!

I find it funny though. God grants special gifts to each child. We all have some special abilities or areas in which we are especially passionate. 

Looking at our three children, I wonder....

God has gifted our youngest with unusual intellectual prowess. He has always seemed like a very "old soul", mostly because he has such an advanced vocabulary for his age. Ok. His Dad is very intelligent so I can see God placing him in our clan. (Not that there haven't been days we wondered what in the world God was thinking????)

Now with Colin, besides being a gentle and protective big brother, it became immediately apparent that he had a gift for numbers. 

He is clearly good at Math beyond his years and so obviously loves it. His whole demeanor changes when we switch to Math. Again, Tom has taught (and LOVES) Algebra for over 30 years. So, once again, our child's giftedness was covered. What a great match for God to place him into a family with another "Math Geek".

That brings us to Cameron. Besides the ability to light up a room with his amazing smile, we now learn that he is a crazy talented artist.  And therein lies the mystery..... I am neither charismatic (again, Tom has that covered!) nor artistically talented. (at least not in that medium).  

No one in this house is equipped to foster that particular gift.

One of these kids better decide to learn something that I am good at!

 Just sayin'!

Cameron's first trip to the ocean

Today, after we enjoyed a fabulous morning of worship at ECBC, we decided to take a picnic lunch out and go to the beach with Cameron for the first time.

It wasn't that long ago that we took Colin down to this same stretch of beach at Isle of Palms, SC for his first view of the Atlantic Ocean. You can check that post out here.

Today, it was Cameron's turn. The biggest difference? Well, Colin was able to go in August and enjoy the surf. Cameron, well, it is cool in January, even in beautiful Charleston, SC. 

So, we kept our coats on....

It was fun to see the boys all play on the beach.

We saw some jelly fish up on the sand...

a few shells that they enjoyed throwing back into the ocean...

lots of birds...

and plenty of wonderful sunshine!

At first, the boys stood a safe distance from the incoming tide, but eventually, the temptation was too much to bear...

Those socks and shoes????

SOAKING WET!

and sandy!!!

heading back to the truck

Colin attempting to brush off wet sand from his feet.
We southerners know better...

"Look mom! Stinky socks!"

So, what happens to nasty wet socks once they are removed from your cold, wet feet? They become weapons, of course!

A short, but successful trip and nice memories made.

The Three Amigos- NEED THEIR FAMILIES!

These three boys, who we have affectionately called the "Three Amigos"are running out of time for their families to find them.

I have seen "Dusty's" file and he is quite a handsome, healthy, and talented young man.  He wants to study computer programming which is very likely not an option for him if he remains in China as an orphan. He is a talented artist and musician. 

The required orphanage "donation" that is typically paid by adoptive parents have BEEN WAIVED!  

There are videos of him too! Just ask and I can get you in touch with someone who can share these with you.

UPDATE 01/13:  DUSTY'S ORPHANAGE FEE OF $5000 HAS BEEN WAIVED!

Dusty now has a $4,300 grant from a generous donor with GWCA- you must use them for the agency to be able to use this grant.

Dusty ages out in April.

Dusty is 13 years old. He is a healthy older child. Dusty hopes he can go to college to become a computer programmer and design games. He does well in school and has learned some English. He never gets in trouble, and he studies hard. He is an excellent artist and can do traditional Chinese painting. He also loves to play guitar. Dusty is good friends with Lucky and Ned. They hope they all will be able to be adopted and remain close (posted next).

~~~~~~~

Ned is 13 years old and will age out in July of 2012. 

He is an older healthy child. Ned is described as very smart and places in the top 5 in his class when he works hard. He loves vegetables and dislikes sweet foods-not your typical teenage boy! He hopes to grow up and be a policeman to protect society. He very much wants to be adopted and hopes to know about his family’s interests and lifestyle so he can prepare before the adoption. He is friendly, hardworking and always tries to help other children. Ned is close friends with Lucky and Dusty. They hope they will all be able to be adopted and stay good friends.

 

~~~~~~~

Lucky is 13 years old and ages out in August.

He is a Hep B carrier. Lucky is noted to be a very friendly boy with an excellent temperament. He has learned English in school and loves to play basketball. He is extroverted and obedient. He hopes to be in the Special Forces when he grows up. He wants to be adopted and come to the U.S. He hopes his family will be warm and happy. Lucky is close friends with Ned and Dusty. They hope they will all three be able to be adopted and remain close.

Happy Chinese New Year! (Early)

Ok, so the real Chinese New Year may not start until January 23, but here in Charleston, we are READY! 

We had the best time today celebrating the "Year of the Dragon"

with family and friends.

Of course, the moms had to get in on the fun too!

L to R: Chelsea, Jennifer, Kim, Mika, Angie, Carrie, Annie

We had the best time today!  Lots of Chinese food (of course), some homemade and some take-out.  

As you can see, there were over 20 children there, so chairs were scarce. Many chose to eat on the floor.

We enjoyed candy from China and yummy chocolate fondue with bananas and marshmallows!

We had some amazing fellowship and the cold (for Charleston) weather didn't slow the kids down at all!

After the food was cleared away, the kids went outside to play and the grownups had time to sit and share with one another. We even had some time to pray for one another and all the folks that are waiting for children.

This "adoption chat" group is growing and we feel that the Lord is really moving in amazing ways here in our local area.  We get together about twice each month for a fun time! 

We are committed to supporting one another as adoptive parents and allowing our children a time to play with one another and develop friendships with other adopted families.

 But this is also a way for others who may be curious about adoption to join us and ask whatever questions they want to about this process and the life that follows. 

We often have the opportunity to pray with and for one another which is always a very special time.  

If you are in or near the Charleston area and know someone who is interested in adoption, especially international adoption, invite them to join us sometime.  

This group of ladies and their families are very passionate about orphan care and have such a vast amount of knowledge collectively. 

They have been a fabulous support network for us over the past year. We also have some really easy and helpful resources that are available so just ask! There is never any pressure and we are VERY real. LOL!

Many thanks for our sweet friend Jennifer who hosted this large crew today. You made this a really special celebration, especially for the older adoptees who will miss New Year's in China this year.

I love you TOO!!!

There has been a lot of change in our family lately. 

You might say, Well, of course there has! But, I mean, more than the obvious changes of adopting another child.  

As we are getting to know each child better, and beginning to understand what their strengths are and where they have special needs, we have made some pretty monumental parenting decisions in recent weeks.

 I can only imagine that we will continue these periodic assessments as the months unfold.

The first and perhaps biggest of these choices  was the decision to place Colin into Middle School.  Public Middle School. You see, since we returned home with him in September, he has been learning at home with Tom and myself. 

Our youngest son, Tommy, has been home-schooled since he was 4.  When we first brought Colin home, we felt strongly that he needed to stay home to encourage his development of attachments with his new family, to better assess his academic strengths and challenges, and to protect his very impressionable personality from the exposure to things that he wouldn't understand. 

When you adopt an older child from another culture, they are, in so many ways, like a very young child. Even if they are mature for their age in their home culture, when you endure the kind of massive upheaval that these children have, they are often timid and scared. They can be easily overwhelmed and easily swayed by others. 

Moreover, they have often not had the kind of training and upbringing that children with parents get.  So many things are taken for granted with our American kids that may not prove true with older, foreign adoptees.

While we expected that it would take many months for Colin to adjust to life in America, he has blossomed and continues to thrive.  He has gained 9 pounds since coming home in September and grown one full inch!

Here he is on his first day of public school.

To me, he is a completely different child than this one we saw back in the spring.

After his first day, he jumped into the car and said, "Mama! America no have blue shoes?"  I laughed so hard. Apparently, the shoes he wore home from the orphanage, the shoes that barely fit him anymore, were a big hit at school! LOL  He said that girls and boys alike were complementing him on his shoes and he thought that perhaps we didn't have BLUE shoes in America! Oh how I wish I had a hidden camera in the car that day!

After bringing Cameron home, we learned that he is indeed much younger than his paperwork indicated. This is not unheard of in the world of international adoption.

 We have had a bone age scan completed and will conduct another one in about six months to verify our results before taking steps to legally change his age. Early results indicate that his bone age is consistent with that of a 10 year old male. We expect some variation on the second test based on increased nutrition and other growth factors, but still feel confident that our sweet boy is no where near 14.

It will take several more weeks I think before he begins to truly relax and be himself, but he is kind and respectful and has even gotten close to us from time to time.

He is blissfully obedient during this "honeymoon" phase and I must admit that I am enjoying that. It is nice because I do not have to worry too much about adding the discipline factor to an already overwhelmed little boy.  As we gain his trust, I am sure he will relax enough to test more boundaries. And, we will be ready for that, but for now our days are filled with laughing, learning and establishing routines.

As for his schooling, we are teaching him at home with his younger brother and he is doing well. They are both on the 3-4th grade level so Math is easy to teach together.

Additionally, we are working on the basics of phonics and conversational English. Unlike his big brother, Cameron loves his Rosetta Stone lessons. He even asks to do them when he doesn't have to.

In fact, he is on the computer now and wanted to start over at lesson 1 and do them all over again for practice. 

So, you might be wondering why I would title this post, 

"I love you too!"?

Well, if you are from the South and not familiar with adopted children, it might seem perfectly natural to you that you'd respond to an "I love you" in this fashion. However, for children who have not had the love of a family, and who (understandably) have developed serious issues of trust, this is not only unnatural, but a little scary.

Knowing this, we never pressured either of our boys to respond at all, but we knew how badly they needed to hear "I love you", so we have been saying this to each of them often and especially as we said Good night.

Well, last night, for the very first time, Colin approached me on the sofa to say good night and when I said "I love you, sweetie", he said 

"I love you too".  

Yes, it was quiet, and yes, it was said quickly, but 

IT. WAS. SAID!!!  

Of course, I was overjoyed for myself. Who wouldn't be?  But, I am mostly excited for Colin. What a big step for him to be able to express himself like this when he spent 14 years of his life keeping his emotions bottled up, both because of his circumstances as well as his culture.

So, while I know fully that each child is different and their growth will be unique, I am so encouraged that our sweet son is becoming more comfortable with us and beginning to trust our love for him.

I pray that this is only the beginning. Perhaps he will soon be open to the love of his Heavenly Father who orchestrated this path for him since before he was born.

Lastly, I want to let you all know that I have been feeling a call from the Lord to pursue employment/ministry opportunities in the adoption world. I would appreciate your prayers that the Lord would open exactly the right doors for me and that His call would be clear.

Blessings, Angie

Our new FOOD BILL!

So, how did the Rylands family spend this amazing, gorgeous, sunny, Southern Saturday?

  Well, THIS member of the Rylands family spent it tearing down Christmas and CLEANING. 

 Funny thing about having a clean house....

Apparently, it doesn't just magically happen. BUMMER. 

And, I have also concluded that it needs to be cleaned more than twice a year....also a HUGE Bummer.

Needless to say, although my husband took great care of the house while we were in China, the combination of putting away all the Christmas Decorations that had been up since before Thanksgiving, and the fact that no real serious cleaning had been done in.....well, ok I don't intend to be THAT transparent....

Anyway, let's just say that I spent more than an hour in the living room alone and it's 

not. that. big.

However, I am pleased to report that the baseboards are white once again.

So, after the boys each cleaned bathrooms for us this morning, they were released out into the wild to play.

And they played. all. day.

There were adventures in the woods behind the house, bike riding all over and Sword stick fights in the backyard.

Just before the sun set, I decided that it was time to head to the grocery store. 

(Can you believe that we seem to go there more often lately???)

So, I created my list of sale items, (thank you www.southernsavers.com) and clipped my coupons and we loaded up the crew and took off for the store.

We had the largest bill that we have had, literally, in YEARS. Years!

However, I am pleased to report that with a total retail value of over $200, (the joy of feeding 3 boys!) we spent $100.26 and SAVED $100.04. That might have been worth an hour of my time checking the sales and clipping coupons. 

(Not my best work by any means, but not bad for a quick grocery run.)

All my little elves helped get the groceries in while Tom finished up cooking a wonderful dinner.  

Normal Life moments

Well, I am not sure if anything about our life can be considered "normal", but today was the first day since we've been home with Cameron that seemed relatively normal.

Today we started back to "school".  Tommy had his homeschool co-op classes and the older boys stayed home with Mom and Dad.

I got them started- Colin on Rosetta Stone and Cameron on Math.

It was interesting to me that Colin was so 'interested' in what Cameron was doing. For example, when he saw the easy Math lessons that I was preparing for Cameron, he was almost insulted on Cameron's behalf. He immediately began to argue with me that Cameron had his own Math book from China and that he shouldn't be doing that "easy stuff".

It became clear that I was going to have to get Colin busy with something else to avoid the constant interference.

(Well meaning though it was).

I did take a look at Cameron's math book, but decided that I wanted to take a progressive approach to determine his learning level. So, I typed into the translator for Cameron that I was intentionally going to give him some really easy Math at first and gradually give him more challenging problems. Unlike his protective big brother, HE seemed fine with that plan. LOL

So, we started with double digit addition and moved on to subtraction. Tomorrow we will assess his comfort/skill level with multiplication and division.  He was in third grade in China so we know approximately where to start and what to expect.  

After Math we moved on to Phonics. Apparently Cameron had some familiarity with the alphabet, but no real individual letter recognition.  We started with names and sounds and reviewed that a bit.  He seems to be very willing to learn. He is as sweet (so far) as he looks and smiles even more than I can actually capture with a camera.  

When it was time to leave and pick up Tommy, (and have coffee with a wonderful friend!), Tom took over the learning and then it was nap time!

This was the scene when I arrived home. How could I not grab the camera?  My sweet new boy snuggled up with Dad on the couch taking a much deserved nap.

Then, later in the evening as Tom prepared dinner, Colin jumped in to saute' the onions. He is such a great kid!

Yes, I caught him off guard, and yes, he immediately yelled, "Mama!" 

 (You'd think he'd be used to it by now...)

So, we just finished a wonderful meal prepared by the two oldest men in the family. Ok, you may say it...I AM spoiled!

All in all, a wonderful day and great way to start off the New Year!