(This is my short soap box where I tell you how IMPORTANT your pre-adoptive training is!)
For those who have not adopted, this may sound a bit foreign to you and that really is ok. I never really knew what it was like to parent a child who comes from a "hard place" before I adopted.
It looks VERY different than "traditional" parenting.
It FEELS very different at first too.
But parenting a child with a traumatic background (regardless of the cause) is all about THEM and never about YOU.
It's not about the perfect family photos, or what the neighbors might say.
It's not about your Mother-in-law or Aunt Susan and how they think you are selfish in keeping them at arm's length.
It isn't about the judgmental looks you get at
Wal-Mart or McDonalds
when your child is not behaving.
It is about providing a safe place for them to heal.
It is about modeling love through pain.
It is about fervent prayer that they will some day know the love of Christ who orchestrated their stories and who will one day make all bad things untrue.
Mamas, (and Daddys) try not to compare.
Each of your children are unique whether born of your womb or your heart, they all are special gifts from God and He chose you to help them heal, learn to love and to model the love of Christ.
If all else fails, just load up a love seat with 5 plus people and closeness is guaranteed!